Your Cheatin' Hummus

I have a confession to make. Something I need to admit if I am to continue unfettered in a forum such as this. In order to be able to look myself in the eye and say, ‘yes, you have been honest; go ahead, blog your food fetish all over the electric interweb with gay abandon. Spread your message of the joy of feasting far and wide with a clean conscience and an awesome palate.’

This is not easy for me to admit and I ask, in advance of telling you, for your understanding and forgiveness.

Sometimes, when I cook, I cheat.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Do you hate me?

It means nothing to me at the time. A Kewpie doll blob of mayo added to salad dressings here, a sheet of store bought puff pastry there. No harm done, right?  I can’t help it if cling wrapped jacket potatoes in the microwave taste damned good. They take forever in the oven and come out nowhere near as velvety smooth and super creamy.

But now for the worst part. I know that I identify myself as the latest generation from the lineage of superbly resourceful women known as my ancestors. These women could make a make a loaf of bread from scratch; out of the wheat they’d ripped from their field and ground into white powder with their bare hands. What’s more, this loaf of bread would feed a family of 12 and last for 3 months.

If they wanted olive oil, they’d pulverize fresh fruit they’d harvest off carefully tended trees, thwacking them loose with big sticks and rescuing each green luscious orb before ravenous goats got to them first.

Lord… don’t get me started on the goats….

(Insert moving music here)

I’ve let my people down. I’ve let you down. But most of all … I’ve let myself down. 

Ok, here it goes.

When I make hummus, I use chickpeas from a can.

I have tried, honestly, I have tried to do the whole soak them overnight, change the water, add a pinch of bi-carb and simmer them for 6 hours with a bay leaf thing, but it just takes too damn long! In the time it takes me to do step one of this process, I can make a mellifluous plate of the yummiest tasting hummus you’ve ever had.

Go on, try it. Cheating feels good every now and then.

Easy, cheatin’ Hummus

1 x 400 g can of chickpeas, liquid reserved

1 clove garlic

1 ½ tablespoons Tahini

Juice of one lemon (or to taste)

¼ teaspoon ground cumin

1 pinch of cayenne pepper

Salt and pepper to taste

Olive oil

Sweet paprika

1 teaspoon chopped parsley for garnish

Put the drained chickpeas in a food processor and blitz until smooth and creamy. Add some of the chickpea juice if it’s chunky and thick.

Add the tahini and garlic, puree a little and then season with a bit of salt. Add cumin and cayenne and puree some more.

Drizzle in the lemon juice and blend til smooth.

Check the flavour and add more salt, lemon juice and pepper unitl the flavour is to your liking.

If it is too thick, add some more chickpea juice.

Spoon out onto a flat plate and create a well in the middle of the hummus.

Drizzle the surface with olive oil, sprinkle with paprika and sprinkle a pinch of parsley in the middle to make it look pretty.